That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
