If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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