I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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