I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
