My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
