so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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