Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
