haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
