Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
