I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
