we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
