Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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