guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
