Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
