I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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