ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
