After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize