with your own penis?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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