I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
