So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
