Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize