The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
