Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
