fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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