mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
