a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
