the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize