i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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