And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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