Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize