i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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