the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
