i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
