So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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