in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
