Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize