Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
