We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
