Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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