I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
