At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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