She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
