I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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