nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The beer is more important than you right now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize