Me. At least after what I've been through.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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