my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize