I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
