ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
