garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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