I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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