I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
