let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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