i barfeds in our rink
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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