I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
