i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
