And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
