Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
