my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize