I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
