From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
