it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
