Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
