I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
