So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
