This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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