allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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