Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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