Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
