i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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