ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize