we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
