At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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