I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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