I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
