that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
