apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
