Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You need Xanax blowdarts
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
