suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
