Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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